1. |
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The lights have gone low dear.
We’ve got all the band here.
The mood and the stage are set.
Now I see a new face
who's sitting in your place.
Afraid that we haven’t met.
The evening is grand, dear
It’s just as I’ve planned. We’re
off to a lovely start.
And when you smile at me how I hope you will be
the next person to break my heart.
I’ll sing you a few songs
that I wrote for you, songs
that tell of my prior sins.
Mark well, dear, my stories,
these grim allegories
before our affair begins.
It’s not easy business
being courted by princes,
but a girl must be praised for her art!
Love was just one big game, all until you became
the next person to break my heart.
Oh how I yearn to have bridges to burn!
I’m fanning the flames in advance.
I’ll never learn to take more than one turn,
so let’s face the music and dance.
Then after the show, dear,
I’ll beckon you stay near.
I’ll list while you bill and coo.
Perhaps next time roses
if what you propose is
a love that is really true.
But now lights are low dear.
They’ve sold you your last beer.
We’d better drink up and depart.
I need reasons to sing so let cruel fortune bring
the next person to break my heart.
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2. |
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I've wandered through Paris at dark
And "je t'aimed" with the boys in the park
First they just cop a feel,
Then they storm the Bastille!
Oh mon dieu! I thought triumph an arc!
When I need to jump start my libido,
I might hop on a small jet to Rio
But I'm easily bored
By Jesu Redemptor
All rock hard with no get up and go!
(Chorus):
First I'll put on my airs and I'll pack all my cares
(Though such traveling can make a girl weary.)
Nothing compares to my many affairs
On the shores of the Great Lake Erie.
La la la, la la la, la ha ha ha!
It's a hometown guarantee.
La la la, la la la, la ha ha ha!
It's a Cleveland man for me.
A young lady her luggage must lock
When she ventures alone to Bangkok.
But to venture alone?
Might as well have stayed home!
(For that's roughly the same cock I got)
(Chorus)
Whilst I tailgate Municipal Lot
I thank heavens the sausage is hot!
If you can’t cheer the Browns
Then you’ll cheer my first downs.
And you’ll win even when they do not!
(Chorus)
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3. |
Soon
01:57
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Soon... but not soon enough.
Soon... but not soon enough.
Soon. See you soon.
See you soon. See you soon.
No... that’s not good enough.
Not nearly half enough.
Even without
All my fears and my doubts
Oh, but it’s worth the wait
If you’re a little late
I’ll be singing by the light of the moon.
But I’m hardly infinite
So if you give a shit,
Please come and see me soon
Soon... that was long ago.
Soon... darlin’ still I know
That I’ll see you soon. See you soon.
See you soon...
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4. |
Sugar Mama Blues
04:20
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Oh I'll be your Sugar Mama, if you bring that sweetness back to me
You know that I'll be your Sugar Mama, if you bring sweetness back to me
Yeah but, when I come home baby, you just sit in front of that TV
You know that you can't say you're a 'kept man', if you don't work to earn your keep.
No, no, no, no you can't say you're a kept man, if you don't work to earn your keep.
Aw but, when I wanna go to bed, you're already in my bed asleep
When I bring home the bacon, whose gonna make it fry?
If you don't turn up that heat baby,
I'm making breakfast for some other guy!
Oh I'll be your Sugar Mama, if you bring sweetness back to me.
Yeah, but when I come home baby, you just sit in front of that TV
Well, for just a little lovin', I'd give you my every last cent.
You know that for just a little lovin', I'd give you my every last cent.
Oh, but the way you treat me lately, I think that my money could be better spent!
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5. |
Here, Have a Sandwich.
03:33
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To all you fine boys here tonight,
should you make an offer, I’d take you.
Here’s just one small piece of advice,
cause I want to make you, not break you…
Here, have a sandwich.
Have an ice cream. Have three.
Here, have a pretzel.
Have some spaetzel. Have brie
You’ll need more than skin and bones to hold a girl like me.
So here have a sandwich, dear. it’s free.
Here, have a hot dog.
Have the whole hog, sous vide.
Here, have a strongbow. Have a taco, supreme!
You’ll need more than skin and bones to hold a girl like me.
So here have a sandwich, dear. It’s free.
I haven’t the time or the care
to diet and worry and wain so
My darling, I think it more fair
That you be the one who should gain…. so.
Here, have a sandwich.
Have the tuna, on rye.
Here, have a clam dish. Have the chicken, pot pie!
Show me you love me dear and always, always be-
On time to dinner
(Cause you can’t afford to get thinner)
Here have a sandwich, dear….
on me!
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6. |
Look Better Doin' It
03:36
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I put on my lipstick even when I sing the blues
I could walk for miles in my high-heeled shoes
I'll be on the double, anytime or place
Cause this beauty queen is a well-oiled machine
and I'm ready for the race.
(Chorus)
Oh I can do anything that a man can do,
but I'mma look better-- when I'm doin' it
Look Better Doin' It (Look Better Doin' It)
Look Better Doin' It (Look Better Doin' It)
Look Better Doin' It (Look Better Doin' It)
I'mma look better-- when I'm doin' it.
See me in the board room with my hair updid
See me on the ballot when I make my bid
Meet me at the table, baby we can work it out
Cause when you need a plan and you can't trust the man
Call the lady of the house.
(Chorus)
Let me tell you sister, if you're large or if you're small
You can do most anything. Girl, you can have it all
Just put on your finest dress and tell 'em what you know
You march up to that stand and you count off your band
and you run the whole damn show.
(Chorus)
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7. |
One of Those Men
04:10
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There are men who fight and there are men who bleed
But I'm not one of those men
There are men who arrive on a great white steed
I'm not one of those men
(Chorus):
There are men who walk the picket line and men who would divide it
There are men who'll take your liberty and men who'll stand beside it
There are many many kinds of many ordinary men...
(But) I'm not one of those men.
There are men who beg and there are men who plead
(But) I'm not one of those men
There are men who follow and men who lead
I'm not one of those men
(Chorus)
There are men who cry, only not quite enough
There are men who try, only not quite enough
There are men who give only not quite enough
There are men who live only... Not quite enough
There are men who make the laws and there are men who make our choices
I'm not one of those men
There are men who use their god as a way to take our voices,
But I'm not one of those men
(Chorus)
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8. |
The Gun Song
05:20
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He said if you love me, take it.
He said darling, never fear.
It is only to protect us from the wicked and the queer.
He said, all good men must bear their arms and
Help defend the land. He said-
Darling won’t you give me your hand.
Count to ten and take your breath
Keep that barrel spinning to your death
Don’t you know it’s how the west was won
Baby won’t you hold my gun?
She said, daddy oh, I love you so
But I can’t comprehend
How any senseless fight would bring our grievance to an end.
She said, ain’t no use in talkin’ I can’t here you anymore.
Can’t even tell me what the fighting’s for.
Count to ten and take a breath
Keep that barrel spinning to your breath
Oh I know it’s how the west was won,
but I don’t wanna hold that gun.
You put away that gun,
put away that gun.
Baby put away that gun.
He said oh, but all my darkest hours have come upon me now,
I must assert control within this crazy world somehow
He said, if you love me take it dear and pull the trigger tight,
then give me one last kiss and say good night.
Count to ten and take a breath
keep that barrel spinning to your death.
don’t you know it’s how the west was won,
baby won’t you hold my gun?
won’t you hold my gun
won’t you hold my gun?
baby, won’t you hold my gun?
One. This is how we begin.
Two. Let he without sin
Three. Cast the very first stone.
Four. And then you call it your own.
Five. He was barely alive,
but he kept on talkin’ that mean ol’ jive.
Six. Seveneightnineten.
This is how we start over again.
She said, though I hate to do it, I was brought up to be kind
and I don’t pretend to understand the troubles of your mind.
She said, afterall your ending means there’s one less man who hates.
She said, come on baby destiny awaits.
Count to ten and hold your breath
keep on dancing darling to your death
Don’t I know it’s how the west was won?
Baby let me hold your gun…
Let me hold that gun,
let me hold that gun.
baby let me hold that gun.
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9. |
Constantly
03:27
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Do I breath? Do I blink?
Do I over eat, over work, over think?
Do I dream of you?
Constantly.
Do I sleep? Do I try.
Do I wake, do I weep, do I die?
Do I think of you?
Constantly.
Constantly, I see the sun in the morning.
Constantly, I hear the birds up in the air.
Constantly, I get home late in the evening.
And constantly you’re never there.
Do I run? Do I hide?
Do I bottle up all the bad things inside?
Do I wish it weren’t true?
Constantly.
Constantly, I see the sun in the morning.
Constantly, I hear the birds up in the air.
Constantly, I get home late in the evening.
And constantly nobody’s there.
Do I break? Do I burn?
Do I wonder if this old girl can learn?
Don’t I wish that I knew?
Constantly.
How I wish there was you,
constantly.
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10. |
When the Glamour is Gone
04:16
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Great God in heaven, please hear my prayer
With all the beauty in the world I know that surely you are there
Preserve this body as years roll on,
but take me from this earthly home when the glamour is gone
Oh my poor mother, she taught me well
that youth is only but a charm and all that sparkles is the spell
Have mercy father, if it be no more
Lemme meet her on that farther shore when the glamour is gone
When the glamour is gone
When the glamour is long gone
There'll be no more songs to sing when the glamour is gone
If I no longer primp and toil, I'll shuffle off this mortal coil
I'll be no more use to you when the glamour is gone.
I’m only asking to be set free
From all the wrinkling of time and Satan’s helper, gravity
In loving kindness, let me pass on
Then wrap me up and low’r me down when the glamour is gone
When the glamour is gone
When the glamour is long gone
There’ll be no more songs to sing when the glamour is gone
Oh Savior spare me from the fire, I’m gonna join that angel choir
and we’ll sing forever more when the glamour is gone
(Take me Jesus! Oh Lord! etc)
When things get ugly never fear, there be a big ol’ chandelier… I said right over there in Playhouse Square CLEVELAND…
Up in the sky, Oh Lord, when the glamour is gone.
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Megan Elk Cleveland, Ohio
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